Sunday, July 12, 2009

Welcome Junior !

WARNING: CONTAINS EXPLICIT CONTENT.

Two years ago, some day in September....

I was seated in the 5th row of the bus from the last, the Sun in the west scorching through the heated window as i was sitting near it. I closed it and tried to have a nap as we were returning home back from college. Sumanth was sitting to the left of me. Had a small conversation with him regarding ragging which our immediate seniors "The 2nd years" had told us that it may happen that day, though they don't involve much in it. It was a Saturday and we were quite sure that the Seniors were in for some fun with us for the weekend.

Call that guy in the middle... a voice from the last row uttered it quite slowly considering the staffs occupying the front seats!

Anjan, the 2nd year faithfully did what his senior asked him to. Sumanth was to begin the show. He was asked to stand in the stairs of the closed back door so that none of the staffs really got a view of whats going behind in that staircase since it was obviously a low floor. The other seniors told us not to turn back to see whats happening there. Kept concentrating with my extended hear-power to have an idea whats gonna be done.

Sing us a song....

Sumanth started with a charm...

Yeah,
His palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy
There's vomit on his sweater already, mom's spaghetti
He's nervous, but on the surface he looks calm and ready
To drop bombs, but he keeps on forgetting
What he wrote down, the whole crowd goes so loud
He opens his mouth, but the words won't come out
He's choking how, everybody's joking now
The clock's run out, time's up over, bloah!

He did it in a flourish. Lose Yourself for you. There was a dumb silence behind. The were six senior bozos listening this among which none of them would've understood a word.

We don't get your song. Get us the Tamil version of this in a paper and sing it again in Tamil.... The guy with the glasses sent Sumanth back to his place.

Is that all??? I asked him.

Guess so..... Sumanth was a relieved man, and his face showed it well. It was a piece of cake with enough icing for him.

Now the guy near the window.... Came a voice once again from the back. It was me, I knew!

I went back and stood in the stairs with a serious look. There were 6 of them who looked nothing less than morons. A hairy one, a fat monster, a specs wearing specimen, a professional looking prankster (He became my friend later!), And a couple of black lizards. The fun was about to begin. Not really funny though....

Now who asked you to stand in the stairs?
The hairy one near the door began.

I climbed up and stood on the floor.

Did we ask you to come up now? Go there and stand... Retorted the guy with the glasses.

I went down
once again . This should possibly be the last time I am doing this. And I mean it.

Now why are you blocking the air which is coming in through the door? Move up. - the hairy one now. A bird's nest would look more neat compared to his hairstyle.

Now you both decide among yourselves and tell me where should I stand !!! I hit back, though managing to grin.

Look, you need not order us what to do. Do what we say !

He was bound to get the worst out of me. I held the door with my right hand and started staring out...

Now look here and don't lean over anything. Stand straight.

I was still staring out without giving a heed to what they ordered me to do.

Hey ?!!!

Yeah, tell me.

Sing us a song, or put up a dance now.

I don't know both !

Then what else can you do? Don't you possess any talent ?!

No.

That's okay. You try singing now.

I can't sing, I told you.- Is there any necessity that I should expose my talents to these shims?! I better not.

Now do something for us and leave the place.

I don't know anything.

So are you gonna stay here doing nothing? The hairy one gave a fierce look.

I stared him back and didn't reply a word. I knew the ball was in my court. Considering the strictness my college maintains on these issues, anything which is gonna happen big and beyond is gonna affect only them and not me as a junior. I'm gonna play....

Now why is your face this serious? Be normal.

I kept staring out without noticing him. I felt blood boiling inside me for the first time.

Alright lets switch over to something interesting. Have you watched Porn movies? - Began another.

Its better to say YES rather than a NO to get bullied by these arse-holes! My inner voice said.

Yes !!!

Oh that's good then. So now you are gonna enact to us what "really" happens in those movies.

Meaning?!

Do we need to explain?

I can't act what you asked for.

Then narrate us whatever you saw in it.... Every time I refused to do something, these guys came down from their level of ragging! lol!

Haven't you guys watched porn movies before in your lives???!

No son, we haven't watched any...! Chuckled the bloke with the glasses.

Then I don't think I should be explaining it to Kids !!! I slapped them back to see those faces get pissed off for the first time.

I knew I was dominating. Indeed I was, taking advantage of my position as a so called "Junior" to pee on the faces of those 6 bastards. They can't lay their hands on me either. And I wouldn't be the same if anything is gonna happen to me. Anything and everything is just gonna be against them, and I was well prepared for whatever is gonna happen.

Do you think that you are talking too smart?

I never told like that. Did I ?!

Look, we are your seniors and you need to do what we say.....

Oh really ?!!

One should've seen Mr.Glasses' face that moment. He was totally bemused! I loved it. I felt that I was going a little bit out-of-control against them. Felt heroism for the first time in life surrounded by 6 men and unable to move a muscle against me. I was elated!

This is it. You needn't do anything for us now. Get something for each one for us tomorrow when you come.

What do you guys want?

I need a Condom! Hairy came forward eagerly to list what he wants.

Hmmm...

I need a Jockey. Free size. Glasses was the next.

Okay.

Get me a Maaza, 2 litres bottle and a Chocolate cake cut into 16 equal pieces. The fat monster ordered his part with a glee.

Hmmm....

Get us Porn DVDs from Burma Bazaar. We watch only celebrities stuff! Those remaining black lizards jumped in.

Alright....!

So when are you gonna get us all these?

I never told that I'm gonna buy all these for you. Did I ???

This idiot is making us beg him ! Frustrated Hairy lost his patience completely by now...

What's your Dad? Where are you from?!

I'm from Korattur. My Dad works in the Police Department. He is the P.A to the Director General Of Police !!!

Leave him away... - Whispered the Monster to Hairy. It was Game ME.

Salute us and say "Good Evening" to each one of us and leave now.... Hairy gave a last try.

I can't.

Hey leave him now, move.... Go to your place. The remaining ones shoo-ed me away.

It was a 40 minute show overall, where all I had to do was stand idle staring out and trying to remember that I was being ragged by few useless dumkophs once in a while.

Moral - Its Advantage YOU, if you have landed up in a strict college as a Junior !

Fate that you must listen to this piece of advice! :P

9 comments:

Aslaan said...

nice compliation of ur heroic traits.. keep it up..

Two Compliment said...

ITs totally rubbish... i dint expect engineering students to go unto this level....shame on our Engg community!!!!!!we are unable to clean our A**!!!we are speaking about Racism!!!!the ill treating of the Seniors should also be considered a racism!!!!All we now do is to have a friendly relationship with whomsoever younger budding students of engineering enter our college rather than having some idiotic relationship by showing our heroism!!!!!!!

Unknown said...

Ragging is supposed to be fun guys!!There are exceptional cases like these which spoil it!If am not wrong,seniors started ragging juniors to give them the comfort level they badly need in their early days.And there is absolutely,no need for heroism!No one's a villain here ppl! Btw Ashwin,nice post.But the timing amuses me.You planning to give what you got to someone,that is,get what you gave to someone;)???

Unknown said...

Err... what did i give to someone?!! :P

Anyways this post wasn't to project my heroics exactly. I just had to act that way taking advantage to see how badly the seniors can get pissed off from a junior. I don't wanna be a victim to crap morons who boss over me!

Do i need to buy them a Condom to make friendship with them? Bloody crap!!!

Unknown said...

Dude,i wasn't referring to your situation with ma comment.When people try to show heroism with seniors who rag within their limits,it goes overboard.Read the comment well..in ur case u did the best thing i guz!

Krishna Kumar.S said...

Well, I agree with Sriram. Engg community has gone mad. The problem is due to Westernisation. Right since Independence India should have been like the Soviet Union under strict rule. India is too liberal. The younger generation is brain-washed by stupid ideals and thoughts. Rather than ragging, I wish these so called seniors take up their education seriously and try to do something for the country rather than living a fake life. The problem lies within us. We are responsible for it. When we get ragged, we just do it again to our juniors and the same culture follows on. It's high time people start living life than simply existing.

Krishna Kumar.S said...

I like the way you dealt it. I am surprised. I wonder you really did it :-). Awesome man!

Archana said...

Sum did such things? Amusing enough:D

Here to your blog from your profile thru your frnd req:P:D

I am glad you ve been following mine:)

satya narayan iyer said...

a good one ash...