I've never told her....!!

I've never told her how her smile lifts me up...
She's not the LOL type. But sure she giggles at times and gets me into the tickle. She smiles, and in fact laughs so much, laughing hugging her stomach insanely. But you never hear it after those initial tones which pick up the laugh. There's a kid in her, laughing, trying not to make a sound. You can see her eyes go wet, all in joy! Her lips don't need a lip gloss. Since they already wear a smile. Cute she!

I've never told her how much I adore her eyes...
Her eyes, they're so beautiful. But no! That's not the apt word. It would take essays to explain. I hear waves crash over the rocks near the sea every time she gives a slow wink with her half-shut eyes. Imagine a rainbow over the sea, those are her eyebrows. They are natural, nothing more, nothing less. She looks into my eyes and I go blind, all in a flash. Her eyes, they glitter more than diamonds. She's happy, she smiles, and they glitter even more. She does get angry at times and her eyebrows try joining their ends. They make me worry. I place a kiss right between that gap so that they stay separated, for happiness' sake. She gives a worried look sometimes, looking down, her eyes trying not to meet mine. Only waiting for mine to lift hers up.

I've never told her how her voice drives me crazy...
She isn't a vocalist. But I would rather let her talk and do the listening any day over anything! It's adorable and shy, an effect of her shy nature, an effect of her innocence. I would frighten her just to see her voice wobble. The way she calls out my name in the cutest ever form on earth, makes me thank my parents for naming me that way, otherwise this cute angel of mine wouldn't be toying my name this way! More crazy do I go when she speaks half asleep in bed. I wish the sun never rose up again the next day just to hear her mutter those words. I don't care what she says though. Her unclear voice is all that matters to me.

I've never told her how sweet she is...
The way she hugs me from my behind when I return home with full of sweat, the way she makes me rest over her bosom and make me hear her heartbeats compose tunes for me, the way she pulls my cheek when I lie on her lap, the way she brushes her lips with those of mine, the way she grabs my hand tightly when she needs me the most, the way she cutely punches my stomach when I fool her, the way she winks at me when she achieves something... I declare that I lost to her, and indeed I'm lost, in her! Sweetness personified. My honey!

I've never told her what she means to me...
She means happiness. She means sweetness. She means seasons. She means paradise. She means love. She means friendship. She means mother. She also means a child. She means the most, and oh. that would be sacrilege. She means EVERYTHING. Get me a word beyond 'everything'. She would mean that to me.

I've never told her how much I love her...
You probably might think why I haven't told all these to her. Well, definitely I would love to. But the fact is that I haven't met her yet! I haven't moved with her yet. I haven't married her yet to express all my love for her. But when I do, she would probably say............. I better not expect too much! But still, I wish she says "You silly, I knew it even before you said!"

Happy New Year!

Replenishment! This is what this domain and myself need at this moment. Seldom do I usually recap on what happened the entire year when it nears its climax. But this time it just didn't let me be the same. Event-FULL is the apt word to describe. There were some firsts and quite unfortunately many lasts which never were meant to last! Nevertheless, experience was the much gained one. 2010 was the year of experience of a lifetime. Filled with the essence of fun, thrill, friendship, love, romance, prayers, adventure, travel, disappointment, heart-break, revenge and what not?! Cant deny any of these in my 2010 potpourri.

From Tirupati (Jan 1) to Tiruchchirappalli (Dec 24), the itinerary for the year was destined and finalized by fate which remained unknown for me though, obviously. Every day contributed a surprise stroke leading towards an unusual caricature. Hopefully the portrait should find its shape by 2011, which indeed is gonna be the year of decisions, for the lifetime.

Career and personal life graphs were at their exponential rise and fall respectively. There weren't any qualms when it came to my education and career. The year provided me the best! My aspirations on pursuing PGDBM after my Engineering grew manifold. I had chosen my destiny, at last. This is what I wanna be! Attending classes, taking up mocks towards CAT, the main one, and JMET thereafter, the exposure was immense. Though I would consider my first attempt was to gain the experience of what MBA entrance exams were all about, I'm gung-ho on my future attempts probably in 2011. Meanwhile, Tata Consultancy Services recruited me in campus placement for the post of Assistant Systems Engineer. The way I got recruited was just awesomeness, especially the personal interview. It couldn't have been a better one!

Relationships with people hit the all time low. Misunderstandings, ignorance, duels, betrayals were cropping up badly everywhere around me all of a sudden. Cant be justified that I was all perfect and others were wrong. The mistakes were on my part too, partially. Regrets!! Result, the friends circle shrunk, its diameter being eaten up by ego and attitude. Life had to go on. There's very little hope that things will change. Taking the positives from whatever happened, I realized who really cared and mattered a lot. Yet again, 2010 proved to be a year of experience.

I traveled a lot this year, without parents accompanying me luckily! There's always this parental guidance whenever I make a journey on most occasions which I am sick of. This time it wasn't to be. I made many trips with friends like never before. Coincidentally the year 2010 began at Tirupati and ended at Tiruchchirappalli. Yelagiri, Tirupattur, Vellore and Kanchipuram were other places outside the city where I made short trips alone and along with friends. Expecting more trips outside Tamilnadu next year. The year was also filled with prayers. Not only for myself. That is all I could say. We don't get everything we need. One's gotta understand that. I somehow did.

Sadly, I've completely lost the habit of listening to English tracks. I seriously don't remember clicking even a single English track in my desktop this year. Nor did I watch one in television. I did discover the good regional ones though. Music, I feel it everywhere. Books read - NIL. Damn! :(

And this is the year I increased heck a lot of weight!! *sigh* I completely lost my physique, though I didn't turn up being plump. When everyone around seem to be gym-ing and concentrating too much on their appearance, I simply don't seem to be finding time to take care of myself. Wonder why! I shouldn't be allowing this to continue anymore. Sadly, we don't find much people who accept you for what you are, instead the appearance is the one which plays the game. Philosophy and reality sometimes go against and sometimes do go parallel. Sounds irrelevant? Its not! I need to shape up, both, my mind and body at the earliest!

Wish 2011 brings the change.

HAPPY NEW YEAR PEOPLE..!! :) :)

Changing Faces

Bottom of the rack did my albums lay,
Pulled them out and they made my day.
Posing together within transparent sheets,
Obsequiously got crowded those memories.

Nestled close in each others arms,
Unaware of our possessed charms.
Closed my eyes just to hear,
Those forgotten voices loud and clear.

Blurred memories came to the fore,
Took me back to the days of yore.
Tranquil moments as such stay memorable,
Fortunate to get away not into a rubble.

For the loved ones smiled as my fingers trace,
Innocence connoted on everyone's face.
Questions now arise why are they lost,
Desperate to bring them back at any cost.

They now stand with their faces changed,
Innocence put to the slaughter and buried.
Running after time and for themselves,
And none of us seem to be selfless.

From let us meet and plan,
To let us plan and meet.
Legs which once ran tireless for miles,
Now run just to see them bearing fake smiles.

I blame not everyone,
For they all were bygone.
But still their heart belongs to me,
Safe somewhere even they cant see.

I shall continue being their friend,
Never letting our friendship end.
Be with them forever and more,
Wishing some magic still left in store.

Making a Choice.

A hot and humid afternoon it was. She had been deeply engrossed with the novel she had brought from the Library since morning. That remained her only entertainment in the Women's hostel from the day she relocated from Chennai to Hyderabad for job. She didn't prefer taking a home for rent as it would bring her only increased unnecessary expenses. She had her guy though, a colleague with whom she found striking similarities within days she met him in office. He took care of her more like his own child, and that was all she needed staying away from her parents whom she missed so much. She couldn't have prayed for a better replacement. Such a smooth and sensible love they shared between them. He remained extremely possessive on her, and that made her avoid unnecessary conversations with men, just because that he had warned her not to trust any guy around. She would deal stuffs with men regarding official purposes though. She never felt that she missed anything due to this. Her guy remained her everything.

She threw the book on the couch and decided to go for lunch. As she proceeded back to the hostel, she felt a sudden urge inside and rang up her most trusted and her only male friend. She had known him since the very first day of her Post Graduation. All along her educational career she had been thrown into various Girls' Schools and even her Under Graduation was in a Women's College. He had been her only male friend whom she confided everything with, other than her guy. She had been in touch with him everyday without hesitation though her guy being very strict all over on these issues.

HE: Hello!

SHE: Hey dude...

HE: You told me yesterday that you wanna tell something.

SHE: Err.. Yes, but.... I forgot it.

HE: Come on! Don't lie. Now tell me.

SHE: There's nothing to lie. I just forgot it man.

HE: Alright bye!!!

SHE: Hey hey, chill now. Why are you getting tensed?

(He remained silent for the next few seconds)

SHE: You have gone mad! Bye.

HE: Haahaa!!

SHE: Then what? Why do you get tensed for everything?

HE: Hmmm, now go ahead. Tell me whats your problem. What were you about to tell me yesterday?

SHE: You very well know that my guy is so possessive and all that. And it pricks me that I'm not obeying his words when it comes to you alone. I'm not doing anything wrong with you though. But he shall not understand even if I explain a billion times to him that you are a good chap. And I knew you very well, much before he entered my life.

HE: So?

SHE: I'm in a dilemma!

HE: I can understand. You are planning to take a break from me.

SHE: I'm still unable to express it dude.

HE: When it comes to Love or Friendship, any girl will obviously consider only her Love since it is more important and it has to do with her life. Whereas friendship can come back to you at any point in life. Nothing wrong in your decision. Take a break.

SHE: Thanks for understanding that dude!

HE: But your guy is just too much! Huh! So you can be without me and my friendship right?

SHE: But you aren't gonna miss me anyway since you have so many female friends around you. I'm just one among them.

HE: Not at all! I treasure you so much. In fact you may be surprised to know that I value you so much than how much you valued me all these days.

SHE: Really??!! Huh, you never told me all this before. Are you serious?

HE: Yeah! Obviously. You were the first girl whom I met during my Post Graduation. Through you I made friendship with so many other girls, that's a different story. Haha! And you, yourself must be knowing how much you had cared for me all these days. You are indeed special to me! You are such a nice girl. I mean it.

SHE: Had you been a girl, I would have hugged you now!

HE: I can't be taking the girl avatar just for the reason that you are gonna hug me!

SHE: Aiyae!!

HE: By the way, though we have been close buddies past 4 years, I haven't asked you this question before. What made you accept me as your friend when there were so many guys trying to befriend you?

SHE: I found out what kinda person you are through your writings. Moreover you were very genuine with me. I didn't bother your lavish words on me too. Haha! Whereas I'm sure that the other guys weren't trying to move with me in the same way and with the respect which you gave. I think that we just became good friends easily.

HE: So am I just a good friend to you?

SHE: Oh God, you have questions out of everything which I say. You are my only best friend among the guys I've met in my life dude! I can be my normal self with you which I cant be even with girls.

HE: Had you been a guy, I would have hugged you straight away now!

SHE: Haha! This nakkal is one thing which I liked in you right from the beginning.

HE: But you wanted to take a break from me right?

SHE: Concentrate on flirting other chicks around you for now! Enjoy life.

HE: That's different. But I'm gonna miss you!

SHE: Get yourself normal now. Make sure you enjoy your life mate. I may not buzz or call you daily, hereafter!

HE: Hmmm! But make sure that you come back to me whenever you feel like. Keep me informed about your well being and also in case you find yourself in any personal problem. I'm sure I can get you out of it very easily. I wanna be there with you at least during those moments.

SHE: Sure I will. Don't worry.

HE: Hope you will keep remembering me once in a while.

SHE: Cha cha, no I wont! Haahaa!

HE: Get lost, Idiot! Miss you..... Stay in touch. Bye!

Disclaimer: The above conversation/story is the result of jobless thoughts over conflicts between Love and Friendship which a girl would face when she has an extra possessive guy and a super good friend. Any resemblance to other impersonal stories is purely, and convincingly INTENTIONAL !!! :P

Tagged !!!

I got tagged too, so I decide to write few things about me. (Err... Just one another lame excuse for not being able to "think" much to write during the holidays!)

So here we go...

Ten things I wish I could say to the people whom I love...

1. I've always cared for you nevertheless of whatever I do.
2. Without you, life wouldn't have been so interesting.
3. You are the best thing I can ever get.
4. I miss you a lot. More than I can ever express.
5. I wish I knew you better.
6. I wish you reciprocate something back, of what I give you.
7. I completely understand whenever you say you are busy. I just pretend otherwise.
8. Please don't ignore me. Losing you is my biggest fear.
9. You made me feel special. Thank you!
10. Love you lots!!! Though I never say it out.



Nine things about myself...

1. I have a good heart as you know it well. And I can boast about it till I fall.
2. Trains are in my blood. Anyone here?
3. I’m an absolute absent minded freak.
4. I hate to show attitude on my loved ones. I'm kind enough to forgive people.
5. "Thanks" and "Sorry" are the words which I use the most. They don't cost a penny.
6. Daydreaming??? Oh yeah!!!
7. I save money. That doesn't mean I'm stingy.
8. I don't trust anyone easily. But you can trust me. Infact most of them does.
9. I hate to say "Goodbye". Well what's the "Good" in it?



Eight ways to win my heart...

1. Be modest and honest. Tell me the truth, even if it hurts.
2. When you are with me, try to be with me.
3. I hate being ignored, I say this a thousand times and that's what the above one means too.
4. Make me laugh and laugh with me. I'm sure I can make you happy.
5. Have deep conversations with me. You can very well share your secrets.
6. Let me be a part of both your happiness and sorrow.
7. Don't boast too much about yourself before me. I'll be laughing inside.
8. And most importantly, your looks never ever matter to me.



Seven things that cross my mind a lot...

1. Future?!!
2. What power are my favorite trains gonna get today?
3. Let me put up a chat with him/her now.
4. Yeah, my parents are watching me... Sniff!
5. Why am I being ignored by a few?!
6. Is this life really worth living it?
7. How am I gonna fare this semester?! Just for the heck of it.



Six things I wish I never did...

1. I shouldn't have taken up Engineering... Sick!!!
2. I shouldn't have met few, till now and forever.
3. I shouldn't have allowed those few to boss over me.
4. I shouldn't have experimented much with myself.
5. I shouldn't have trusted few too much.
6. I shouldn't be regretting like this now!!!




Five turn off's...

1. Ignorance.
2. Advise... Goddamn I can organise myself more than what you think!
3. Bossing over me.
4. Lack of freedom.
5. Curd... Yuck!!!





Four turn on's...

1. Making friendship... I'm ready!
2. You like me? I don't need anything else...
3. Are you happy? I would always love to see it!
4. Rail-fanning... Yes sir!







Three things I want to do before I die...

1. Make my Parents, Buddies and my Partner feel that they wouldn't have got a better one than me.
2. Charity from the money I earn.
3. Die before my loved ones die...





Two smileys that describe me...

;-)
:-O







One confession...

I shall never change myself for anyone... Because I'm already being liked for what I am. (I think and hope so.....!!!)






CHEERS TO LIFE !!! :)

I Do Scribble Some Poetry....!!!

We started together somewhere someday
Taking a path supposed to be the destiny's way,
Some ditched me and held me at bay
While most called it a league and had just raced away,

I know I'm heading nowhere
Searching for people who would really care,
I never knew anything before
That I'll live this moment just to allure,

As I tread along the path of life
Future shows me the signs of strife,
The past was as green as the meadows
I look for a place to rest under the shadows,

I don't wanna move further
I can't stay here either,
Future looks bleak till the horizon
While even the next second in life remains unknown,

I look around for people
Who are no more visible,
They've raced ahead of me so wild
Perhaps they were destiny's child?!

I stand still, taking a turn
Looking the way I had come,
This path was well known to me
I go back once again absolutely care-free,

Unable to stand now
Having come a long way in this path,
With nobody here to accompany me
I sit in a bench beneath a withering tree,

Memories have been the only thing which I carry
While others are working towards their glory,
As I nestle myself in this bench
I'm lost among a sea of memories,

I knew this wasn't gonna help me anyway
Yet you can't keep running life in an expressway,
Pauses are needed when going gets tough
Cause even the heart takes it after every beat,

As a cool breeze freshens me up
I find dry leaves shedding down from the top,
As I catch one of them and grasp it tight
It crumbles just like those memories before my sight,

I'm moved
Not towards my destiny yet,
But within my heart
That I'm unable to cement those crumbling ones intact,

I haven't taken the wrong turn
I'm just lagging behind waiting for someone,
Not to hold my hands and to lead me ahead
Just to sit beside me to give a heed,

I hate this feeling of being left behind
Not knowing how to express it out,
I look back at the past and dream about the future
Heading to a world of my own!

Are Relationships For A Reason?

The journey of life gives us many chances of meeting different people everyday. We like some, loath many and there a very few who touch us in a way that life without them is impossible! It appears as if they have come to assist us through a difficulty, to provide us with guidance and support us emotionally and they are! We never realize that what has come must leave as well. But we never do so hoping that the present will last forever. Do people really come into our lives with a reason? Well some may oppose while many may agree with this. Thats one thing which happens very easily in one's life. We meet many people who come into our life for a reason and when their job gets over they make a move. With no wrong in our part or at an inconvenient time this person does something to bring the relationship to an end! Our temporary desire has been fulfilled and their job gets done. Things indeed gotta go on! But this part-time relationship brings us an unbelievable amount of joy. They make us laugh, teach you something which you would have never seen or heard before. When you begin to believe that the person is getting quite close to you and when you try to get more closer, the relationship turns to show up its other face.... There is so much pain in it and you gotta believe it! Whereas lifetime relationships teach us healthy lessons and the relationships do have a solid emotional foundation. Accept and love the person to have a better understanding. Give whatever you have so that you don't lose him/her. But the question that still remains unanswered is that - "Can we really figure out who is with us for what...???" Life alone has the answer for it!