Yet another week in the sequel of nothing-goes-my-way run. Draining me out, completely and emotionally! Chiseling me into shambles and smithereens, making me look more like an utter crap ( wasn't I already am?). With lots to regret and nothing to forget, I have no options but to continue taking whatever comes. Life has never thrown options towards me, leaving only with compromises and no better replacements. Or is it just that everything is messed up in my head or myself being a messed up creature altogether?! Questions storm within me which could very well be answered only by me. (Not that I wanna show off that nobody understands my feelings and nobody has the answers to my questions and all that crap!) Few, I repeat, only few have been extremely supportive at every moment, be it Good or Bad. A source of respite for me, when I look low to their eyes. This post has just popped out during one such low and Bad phase of mine, considering that Good times don't remain forever and always, being very obvious.
I have noticed this right since my childhood. Being gifted with everything best around, and cursed of being unable to relish it and posses it at any time later. Things which seemed reasonable to be desired by me weren't meant to be mine when I needed the most. The real world around doesn't interest me anymore. Now that is not surprising. Because the real world has never aroused my spirit. But I had this innate ability to create an internal world within myself and be safely tucked in there. Yeah, I HAD that ability. That amazing ability to disconnect myself from te real world and connect with an inner world has been taken away. Now I grope for thoughts to fill my empty moments, but in vain. People whom I loved in real remained the same in my virtual life. All I could imagine was the better version of what I was. But later, it wasn't meant to be too. Regrets enough! All I can do is, post this meaningless bullshit which keeps accumulating my empty space on the top, just for the heck of it! Maybe, its time I move on... For the sake of filling up empty moments, and for the sake of feeling alive in life.... Once again.....
Everything around me is just so fine,
But nothing really seems to be mine....
On the lighter side, let me leave you with a couple of Thalaivar Rajnikanth's dialogs which are promising truths.... ;-)
1. "Kedaikaradhu kedaikaama irukkadhu... Kedaikkama irukaradhu kedaikadhu....!" [You get only what you deserve] :)
2. "Nallavana aandavan sodhippan, aana kai vida maatan... Kettavanukku aandavan ellathayum tharuvan, aana kai vittuduvan....!" [The Good is always tested, but never let down by God. Whereas the Bad gets gifted with everything, but will be hopeless someday] :D
So, naan nallavanaa illa kettavanaa?! :P
P.S: Don't try finding coherence with the lines I scribbled in this state.
Cheers to Life...!!! (Though it has nothing to offer me.)
See ya!
