I've never told her....!!

I've never told her how her smile lifts me up...
She's not the LOL type. But sure she giggles at times and gets me into the tickle. She smiles, and in fact laughs so much, laughing hugging her stomach insanely. But you never hear it after those initial tones which pick up the laugh. There's a kid in her, laughing, trying not to make a sound. You can see her eyes go wet, all in joy! Her lips don't need a lip gloss. Since they already wear a smile. Cute she!

I've never told her how much I adore her eyes...
Her eyes, they're so beautiful. But no! That's not the apt word. It would take essays to explain. I hear waves crash over the rocks near the sea every time she gives a slow wink with her half-shut eyes. Imagine a rainbow over the sea, those are her eyebrows. They are natural, nothing more, nothing less. She looks into my eyes and I go blind, all in a flash. Her eyes, they glitter more than diamonds. She's happy, she smiles, and they glitter even more. She does get angry at times and her eyebrows try joining their ends. They make me worry. I place a kiss right between that gap so that they stay separated, for happiness' sake. She gives a worried look sometimes, looking down, her eyes trying not to meet mine. Only waiting for mine to lift hers up.

I've never told her how her voice drives me crazy...
She isn't a vocalist. But I would rather let her talk and do the listening any day over anything! It's adorable and shy, an effect of her shy nature, an effect of her innocence. I would frighten her just to see her voice wobble. The way she calls out my name in the cutest ever form on earth, makes me thank my parents for naming me that way, otherwise this cute angel of mine wouldn't be toying my name this way! More crazy do I go when she speaks half asleep in bed. I wish the sun never rose up again the next day just to hear her mutter those words. I don't care what she says though. Her unclear voice is all that matters to me.

I've never told her how sweet she is...
The way she hugs me from my behind when I return home with full of sweat, the way she makes me rest over her bosom and make me hear her heartbeats compose tunes for me, the way she pulls my cheek when I lie on her lap, the way she brushes her lips with those of mine, the way she grabs my hand tightly when she needs me the most, the way she cutely punches my stomach when I fool her, the way she winks at me when she achieves something... I declare that I lost to her, and indeed I'm lost, in her! Sweetness personified. My honey!

I've never told her what she means to me...
She means happiness. She means sweetness. She means seasons. She means paradise. She means love. She means friendship. She means mother. She also means a child. She means the most, and oh. that would be sacrilege. She means EVERYTHING. Get me a word beyond 'everything'. She would mean that to me.

I've never told her how much I love her...
You probably might think why I haven't told all these to her. Well, definitely I would love to. But the fact is that I haven't met her yet! I haven't moved with her yet. I haven't married her yet to express all my love for her. But when I do, she would probably say............. I better not expect too much! But still, I wish she says "You silly, I knew it even before you said!"

02/04/2011

It wasn't one of the perfect ways to begin a weekend. I woke up with the irritating thought that I had to go to the College to show the prototype of my final year project to my Internal Guide and to the Head of the Department. It wasn't a review though. The only respite being the fact that the breakfast at College had to be Vegetable Pulav since it was a Saturday and that's probably the only reason we attended College on Saturdays in the past 4 years. Much to our surprise the prototype worked perfectly well and we were in for a good amount of appreciation from the staff. Corrections were made in the rough draft of our report and we were all set to start back to home to catch the World Cup Final just in time.

I received phone calls from couple of my friends who wanted me to come to Skywalk to view the match in the big screen. I wanted to go, but my body wasn't willing to cooperate since I had just arrived home with the sun beating down on me for the past 1.5 hours. I chose to watch the match in television and probably when I get out of my tiredness I thought I would proceed to watch it in the big screen along with them. The toss took me into surprise as it looked more the gully cricket like for many reasons. "The toss is crucial." - I heard Ravi Shastri's dialogue-programmed voice in my mind from nowhere as it was total turmoil on the screen what I was witnessing at that moment. And no wonder Shastri too was part of the scene of crime. When Dhoni lost the toss the second time it was tossed, I almost had the thought that we lost the game. It was more like Ganguly winning the toss and chosing to field during the 2003 Final. Never mind, I thought we had equal chances of winning the game by the lucky loss with the toss.

My Dad and Mom who are all-time Cricket haters too joined me before the idiot-box to catch the Final. We were going great guns both with the bowling and fielding, forget Sreesanth! But I also had this crazy thought in one corner that Sree was also a part of the T20 WC Final winning team's playing eleven. I wished history repeated itself for this guy somehow that Saturday despite his terrible bowling. I dozed away after Sangakkara and Jayawardene started building up their partnership. The run rate kept oscillating just around 4.00 RPO. I woke up after the 40th over only to see our bowlers getting thrashed in the batting powerplay during the death and Jayawardene removing his helmet to mark his century. 274/6 was no mean score in a WC Final. Chasing it in Mumbai carrying a billion hopes is gonna be a real test of character for our guys. I kept my fingers crossed as Sachin and Sehwag walked in amidst the huge roar by the crowd. I was seeing Sachin walk into the pitch one last time in a WC match. I wished it wasn't his last ODI at least for what few suckers stirred up such a crazy rumor.

My Mom on the other hand started making coconut boli, a sweet, for dinner saying that India would definitely win the Cup. But what followed was a shock which would have caused me nausea had I been eating that moment. Sehwag getting out the second ball for a gold-coated duck and Sachin falling for 18, but playing an elegant and exquisite innings during that brief stay. A hot coconut boli came into my plate and I gave a confusing look at my Mom. She chuckled and said that the best is yet to come. My sentiments came to my mind for a moment. I usually had the habit of staying away from the television set whenever the Indian team was in a crisis. Even if it was against a team as bad as Afghanistan! I moved out from the drawing room into my room to sit before my PC and started playing few Hindi songs and had my supper.

I seriously felt that my 'sweet' dinner wasn't getting into my throat. I had become a choker! It took me an hour and ten minutes to finish my dinner!!! I only wished that the team didn't choke badly to face a loss similar to what happened in 2003. I opened a tab for Cricinfo to update me with whats happening at the Wankhede. I gulped two bottles of water as I felt the heat. Kohli and Gambhir were steadying the ship well. "Gambhir kannula oru fire theriyudhu!" (I could see fire in Gambhir's eyes!) came an SMS. I wished that it continued as my sentiments were working out perfectly. Kohli was out after an 83 run stand with Gauti. Well done! I had my instincts telling that Dhoni would come next ahead of Yuvraj and play a mammoth innings, at least to maintain the Right-Left combination at the crease. And lo...!!! Update came that Dhoni had stepped in. Instincts Part 1 - check! It was now Dhoni's turn to check the Part 2 too. The scoreboard ticked and ticked every moment. Wonderful! Rajnikant was trending in Twitter as well. Dhoni crossed his 50 and Gauti approached his century only to fall 3 runs short. It was a victory knock without any argument. After Yuvraj coming in, it was itching for me to go back to the hall and catch the remaining action as victory seemed more certain now. I just hoped that they did not throw away their wickets and put up another great-Indian-collapse!

As I was worrying on this regard, Yuvraj pulled one for a boundary and Dhoni slammed one for a SIX over the point an over later. I had come to watch at the right time! Dhoni escaped a run-out and things seemed normal soon. Every over had couple of boundaries from then and the duo were ripping off towards remaking history. Mom was clapping her hands even before the winning shot was made. Crackers went on instantly in my locality even before that. I was going to witness something very astonishing and unusual and shall be remembering it for the rest of my lifetime or probably tell this even to my grandchildren! Kulasekara's delivery was rocket-launched by Dhoni for a SIX and I erupted, the crowd erupted and of course the entire nation erupted! I witnessed it at last. Every member of the team getting emotional, Sachin being carried around the ground on a victory lap, the team lifting the WorldCup, all those were truly amazing and priceless moments that must be relished and cherished by every Indian indeed. While going to bed post midnight, I just realized that my sentiments worked and my Mom's sweet worked as well! LOL! :D

Leaving you with the visuals of victory! :)


DHONI LAUNCHING HIS HELICOPTER AT LAST....



WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS...!!! :) :) :)

Happy New Year!

Replenishment! This is what this domain and myself need at this moment. Seldom do I usually recap on what happened the entire year when it nears its climax. But this time it just didn't let me be the same. Event-FULL is the apt word to describe. There were some firsts and quite unfortunately many lasts which never were meant to last! Nevertheless, experience was the much gained one. 2010 was the year of experience of a lifetime. Filled with the essence of fun, thrill, friendship, love, romance, prayers, adventure, travel, disappointment, heart-break, revenge and what not?! Cant deny any of these in my 2010 potpourri.

From Tirupati (Jan 1) to Tiruchchirappalli (Dec 24), the itinerary for the year was destined and finalized by fate which remained unknown for me though, obviously. Every day contributed a surprise stroke leading towards an unusual caricature. Hopefully the portrait should find its shape by 2011, which indeed is gonna be the year of decisions, for the lifetime.

Career and personal life graphs were at their exponential rise and fall respectively. There weren't any qualms when it came to my education and career. The year provided me the best! My aspirations on pursuing PGDBM after my Engineering grew manifold. I had chosen my destiny, at last. This is what I wanna be! Attending classes, taking up mocks towards CAT, the main one, and JMET thereafter, the exposure was immense. Though I would consider my first attempt was to gain the experience of what MBA entrance exams were all about, I'm gung-ho on my future attempts probably in 2011. Meanwhile, Tata Consultancy Services recruited me in campus placement for the post of Assistant Systems Engineer. The way I got recruited was just awesomeness, especially the personal interview. It couldn't have been a better one!

Relationships with people hit the all time low. Misunderstandings, ignorance, duels, betrayals were cropping up badly everywhere around me all of a sudden. Cant be justified that I was all perfect and others were wrong. The mistakes were on my part too, partially. Regrets!! Result, the friends circle shrunk, its diameter being eaten up by ego and attitude. Life had to go on. There's very little hope that things will change. Taking the positives from whatever happened, I realized who really cared and mattered a lot. Yet again, 2010 proved to be a year of experience.

I traveled a lot this year, without parents accompanying me luckily! There's always this parental guidance whenever I make a journey on most occasions which I am sick of. This time it wasn't to be. I made many trips with friends like never before. Coincidentally the year 2010 began at Tirupati and ended at Tiruchchirappalli. Yelagiri, Tirupattur, Vellore and Kanchipuram were other places outside the city where I made short trips alone and along with friends. Expecting more trips outside Tamilnadu next year. The year was also filled with prayers. Not only for myself. That is all I could say. We don't get everything we need. One's gotta understand that. I somehow did.

Sadly, I've completely lost the habit of listening to English tracks. I seriously don't remember clicking even a single English track in my desktop this year. Nor did I watch one in television. I did discover the good regional ones though. Music, I feel it everywhere. Books read - NIL. Damn! :(

And this is the year I increased heck a lot of weight!! *sigh* I completely lost my physique, though I didn't turn up being plump. When everyone around seem to be gym-ing and concentrating too much on their appearance, I simply don't seem to be finding time to take care of myself. Wonder why! I shouldn't be allowing this to continue anymore. Sadly, we don't find much people who accept you for what you are, instead the appearance is the one which plays the game. Philosophy and reality sometimes go against and sometimes do go parallel. Sounds irrelevant? Its not! I need to shape up, both, my mind and body at the earliest!

Wish 2011 brings the change.

HAPPY NEW YEAR PEOPLE..!! :) :)

Changing Faces

Bottom of the rack did my albums lay,
Pulled them out and they made my day.
Posing together within transparent sheets,
Obsequiously got crowded those memories.

Nestled close in each others arms,
Unaware of our possessed charms.
Closed my eyes just to hear,
Those forgotten voices loud and clear.

Blurred memories came to the fore,
Took me back to the days of yore.
Tranquil moments as such stay memorable,
Fortunate to get away not into a rubble.

For the loved ones smiled as my fingers trace,
Innocence connoted on everyone's face.
Questions now arise why are they lost,
Desperate to bring them back at any cost.

They now stand with their faces changed,
Innocence put to the slaughter and buried.
Running after time and for themselves,
And none of us seem to be selfless.

From let us meet and plan,
To let us plan and meet.
Legs which once ran tireless for miles,
Now run just to see them bearing fake smiles.

I blame not everyone,
For they all were bygone.
But still their heart belongs to me,
Safe somewhere even they cant see.

I shall continue being their friend,
Never letting our friendship end.
Be with them forever and more,
Wishing some magic still left in store.

Making a Choice.

A hot and humid afternoon it was. She had been deeply engrossed with the novel she had brought from the Library since morning. That remained her only entertainment in the Women's hostel from the day she relocated from Chennai to Hyderabad for job. She didn't prefer taking a home for rent as it would bring her only increased unnecessary expenses. She had her guy though, a colleague with whom she found striking similarities within days she met him in office. He took care of her more like his own child, and that was all she needed staying away from her parents whom she missed so much. She couldn't have prayed for a better replacement. Such a smooth and sensible love they shared between them. He remained extremely possessive on her, and that made her avoid unnecessary conversations with men, just because that he had warned her not to trust any guy around. She would deal stuffs with men regarding official purposes though. She never felt that she missed anything due to this. Her guy remained her everything.

She threw the book on the couch and decided to go for lunch. As she proceeded back to the hostel, she felt a sudden urge inside and rang up her most trusted and her only male friend. She had known him since the very first day of her Post Graduation. All along her educational career she had been thrown into various Girls' Schools and even her Under Graduation was in a Women's College. He had been her only male friend whom she confided everything with, other than her guy. She had been in touch with him everyday without hesitation though her guy being very strict all over on these issues.

HE: Hello!

SHE: Hey dude...

HE: You told me yesterday that you wanna tell something.

SHE: Err.. Yes, but.... I forgot it.

HE: Come on! Don't lie. Now tell me.

SHE: There's nothing to lie. I just forgot it man.

HE: Alright bye!!!

SHE: Hey hey, chill now. Why are you getting tensed?

(He remained silent for the next few seconds)

SHE: You have gone mad! Bye.

HE: Haahaa!!

SHE: Then what? Why do you get tensed for everything?

HE: Hmmm, now go ahead. Tell me whats your problem. What were you about to tell me yesterday?

SHE: You very well know that my guy is so possessive and all that. And it pricks me that I'm not obeying his words when it comes to you alone. I'm not doing anything wrong with you though. But he shall not understand even if I explain a billion times to him that you are a good chap. And I knew you very well, much before he entered my life.

HE: So?

SHE: I'm in a dilemma!

HE: I can understand. You are planning to take a break from me.

SHE: I'm still unable to express it dude.

HE: When it comes to Love or Friendship, any girl will obviously consider only her Love since it is more important and it has to do with her life. Whereas friendship can come back to you at any point in life. Nothing wrong in your decision. Take a break.

SHE: Thanks for understanding that dude!

HE: But your guy is just too much! Huh! So you can be without me and my friendship right?

SHE: But you aren't gonna miss me anyway since you have so many female friends around you. I'm just one among them.

HE: Not at all! I treasure you so much. In fact you may be surprised to know that I value you so much than how much you valued me all these days.

SHE: Really??!! Huh, you never told me all this before. Are you serious?

HE: Yeah! Obviously. You were the first girl whom I met during my Post Graduation. Through you I made friendship with so many other girls, that's a different story. Haha! And you, yourself must be knowing how much you had cared for me all these days. You are indeed special to me! You are such a nice girl. I mean it.

SHE: Had you been a girl, I would have hugged you now!

HE: I can't be taking the girl avatar just for the reason that you are gonna hug me!

SHE: Aiyae!!

HE: By the way, though we have been close buddies past 4 years, I haven't asked you this question before. What made you accept me as your friend when there were so many guys trying to befriend you?

SHE: I found out what kinda person you are through your writings. Moreover you were very genuine with me. I didn't bother your lavish words on me too. Haha! Whereas I'm sure that the other guys weren't trying to move with me in the same way and with the respect which you gave. I think that we just became good friends easily.

HE: So am I just a good friend to you?

SHE: Oh God, you have questions out of everything which I say. You are my only best friend among the guys I've met in my life dude! I can be my normal self with you which I cant be even with girls.

HE: Had you been a guy, I would have hugged you straight away now!

SHE: Haha! This nakkal is one thing which I liked in you right from the beginning.

HE: But you wanted to take a break from me right?

SHE: Concentrate on flirting other chicks around you for now! Enjoy life.

HE: That's different. But I'm gonna miss you!

SHE: Get yourself normal now. Make sure you enjoy your life mate. I may not buzz or call you daily, hereafter!

HE: Hmmm! But make sure that you come back to me whenever you feel like. Keep me informed about your well being and also in case you find yourself in any personal problem. I'm sure I can get you out of it very easily. I wanna be there with you at least during those moments.

SHE: Sure I will. Don't worry.

HE: Hope you will keep remembering me once in a while.

SHE: Cha cha, no I wont! Haahaa!

HE: Get lost, Idiot! Miss you..... Stay in touch. Bye!

Disclaimer: The above conversation/story is the result of jobless thoughts over conflicts between Love and Friendship which a girl would face when she has an extra possessive guy and a super good friend. Any resemblance to other impersonal stories is purely, and convincingly INTENTIONAL !!! :P